centredaily.com

Posted on Sun, Nov. 27, 2005 

Man triumphs over mental illness and succeeds in helping others

SUSAN JURGELSKI
Lancaster New Era

LANCASTER, Pa. - Bob Forrey has heard the voice of God.

He once commanded Forrey to strip and plunge into the Susquehanna River.
But Forrey's orders from God weren't divine inspirations.
They were hallucinations, symptoms of an illness that put him on a tightrope between illusion and reality.

Forrey is the award-winning executive director of the Lancaster County Consumer Satisfaction Team, whose members, while struggling with their own mental illness, survey and advocate for mental-health consumers.

Forrey is also one of the more than 2 million people nationwide diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a mental illness characterized by mood swings and sometimes, psychosis.

Now that Forrey is taking medication and receiving therapy, he battles much less with intrusive voices and delusional thinking. Today, the 49-year-old Gordonville resident is a successful professional artist, graduate student, husband and stepfather.

In fact, this month he was recognized not only for his work with CST but also for his wrenching but laudable climb toward normalcy. Forrey is one of the national recipients of the ninth annual Eli Lilly and Co. Reintegration Awards, which honor members of the professional mental-health community. Awards are presented in 10 categories, and three are given to people with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

One of several hundred nominees judged by a panel of mental-health professionals, Forrey received second place in the Inspiration Award category, which honors both personal and professional achievements.

Forrey was nominated by Sarah Myers, program director for Compeer Lancaster, which matches trained volunteers with people with mental illness. Forrey is part of Compeer's advisory committee and is becoming a volunteer.

Forrey received both a trophy and $2,500 to donate to the charity of his choice. Forrey chose Compeer.

"He has a really powerful story," says Myers. "When I heard his story and heard of ways his story has encouraged and motivated others, he seemed like a natural fit for the Inspiration Award."

Bipolar illness always lurked in Forrey's psyche.

He remembers his rush into the river at age 25 as one of the first dramatic expressions of his illness. But he believes he probably had more subtle symptoms before that.

"After I came back from (the river), my mother told me I needed to see a psychiatrist, and when she told me those words, something in me clicked, and I fell apart," says Forrey, who grew up in Leola and graduated from Conestoga Valley High School. "I didn't realize I was doing anything wrong, but she was indicating I was sick."

Forrey's father took him to see a psychiatrist, who immediately prescribed lithium, a mood-stabilizing medication.

But Forrey refused to take it, rebelling against his diagnosis.

"I wouldn't take responsibility for my illness, so what I did was blame everybody else for my behavior," he says. "I was self-stigmatized. I was afraid of mental illness myself and didn't want to be publicly associated with it."

Over the next 20 years, Forrey's roller-coaster journey led mostly down. He lost jobs, went through two divorces and was hospitalized and jailed twice, once for setting a fire at the Griest Building, which caused $280,000 in damage. He also bit one of the six police officers who tried to subdue him.

In 1999, his third wife, Aggie, committed him to Philhaven. The mental hospital threatened to send Forrey to Wernersville State Hospital if he did not comply with his treatment.

After a lifetime of defiance, Forrey finally surrendered.

"It all sort of came together, and I realized what people were trying to tell me all those years," he says.

Forrey now faithfully takes medication, gets counseling and attends a support group. Even with medication, he knows he is not immune to his illness and its triggers, like stress or lack of sleep. He has had two episodes since he began his medication regimen.

"When I experience psychosis, I'm in a normal state, and then I gradually slip in psychosis and I can't tell a difference," he explains.

Three years ago, eager to enter the mental-health field, he left his job at Sight and Sound Theatres and took over as director of CST. Forrey, who has a bachelor's degree in art from Millersville University, is now a graduate student at Lancaster Bible College, studying mental-health counseling. His dream is to get a doctorate in counseling.

Forrey recently participated in the "Recovery Work" art exhibition by Compeer and Friends at Mulberry Art Studios. Some of his bold acrylic artwork hangs in his office.

"I've been painting a lot more consistently since I've been on medication," he says. "Unfortunately, I threw out a lot of my paintings when I was sick."

Although Forrey can be guided by his illness, he doesn't define himself by it.

"I have a mental illness, but I am not the mental illness."

Forrey has walked in the shoes of the people he serves. He can easily win their trust.

He recalls an interview with a woman at Wernersville State Hospital who believed God called her to serve as a missionary on the hospital ward.

"I explained to her I had bipolar illness, and she found it hard to believe," he says. "I told her that often in my journey, I thought I was hearing from God and it turned out to be my illness. She seemed to be receptive. I learned later that she did leave the hospital.

"The genius of CST is that persons with mental illness relate to other persons with mental illness."

Mary Steffy, executive director of the Mental Health Association of Lancaster County, applauds Forrey's ability to reach people with mental illness and reduce stigma. She also recommended him for the Reintegration Award.

Steffy recalls a talk he gave at an all-day police training.

"To hear in his own words some of the painful reality of his life - and to see him so well and so able to articulate for others how to work with persons who have mental illnesses - is moving," she says. "When people who have mental illness are willing to speak out and have no shame in that, it does more to reduce stigma than all the speeches I could give."

Despite the increased public awareness about mental illness, Forrey believes there are still many invisible sufferers who remain lost - in denial, undiagnosed and untreated.

On the bookcase behind his desk at the CST office, there is a framed set of words that Forrey tries to incorporate in his daily life.

Honor. Trust. Integrity.

"I think it's something I strive for," he says. "I need to make a conscious effort, because for so much of my illness early on, I misrepresented the truth. In the recent past, I've tried my best to be truthful.

"People with mental illness are not freaks; they're not monsters. They just want to lead regular lives.

"As I look at my life and the things I've been through, I'm just really hoping my own life will make a difference."



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